Life, love, Poetry, Reflection, relationships, Writing

Lament to love

I sigh without emotional release

Drowning, in endless contemplation.

A macabre of senseless want

It is a plague on my soul.

I mourn the aflliction

Like a guilty pleasure.

I have searched the celestial doorways

But the star dust is long gone.

It is a contortion of rawness

An asphyxiation of longing.

It is the holy grail

So often sought, but never found.

It is a succubus that drains

It is a shadow, lamenting the night.

The core pains

But never heals.

I am a breath, starved of oxygen

A cosmic imbalance.

I am a sin, without confession

My song was never wrote.

It is besieged within a promiscuous vortex

Ravenous with obscurity.

Disassociated with the spiritual facilitator

A cognitive phenomenon.

I am a benevolent structure of Confucianism

A disciple for the unsullied.

 

 

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Life, love, Poetry, Reflection, Writing

Stolen: By D H Evans

What is happiness? Can it be spoken? Can it be touched? Can it be seen, or tasted? Hope, diminishes, each passing day.

Love, you failed me. You played against me.

A judgment formed, the decision made. 

I watched you wave, from the world outside. Always in sight, but never in reach. 

I played the game, not knowing the rules. You toyed and teased me; you were never mine to have.

A kiss on the lips, just a taste of delight. But the kiss was bitter sweet.

You stole from me; took the light I could have had. A void, in time and space, that could never be filled.

Each breath pains; a constant hunger, consumes me.

A stillness of light, in a motion of dark.

It is hard to smile, when the world cries for me.

Love is a delusion, a forgotten snowflake; frozen in time. 

It teases at the edges, but never covets, nor caresses.

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Life, love, Poetry, Reflection, Writing

Untouched: By D H Evans

Dark and sullen; concealed within an eternity of sorrow. Disconnected and disillusioned from the world.

I am a grain of sand, forgotten, on a beach in time. The sorrow consumes me, never sated, never filled.

It decays, with each perpetual beat. All hope is gone, forgotten in the wind.

I am  unbroken, untouched.

Walled behind, obscurity and need. Starved of emotion.

I am damned, lost in the great abyss.

The world keeps turning, but I stand still. 

I am bound, by chains of endless night, enclosed within an infinite darkness, perpendicular to the light.

I am forgotten, lost in life. I am the ripper of light.

I am a road to nowhere, a destination unknown. Pushed as far as I can go.

No turning back, no road ahead. 

I am a fragment of imagination, a fictional tool.

I am nothing, but a whisper in the wind.

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Reflection, Uncategorized, Writing

Who is your Edward to your Bella?

Sigmund Freud reputedly stated that in all his 30+ years of experience trying to get inside the mind of women, he has failed to answer that age old question “What do women want?”

We want many things Mr Freud but it seems as though women that know exactly what they want are considered to be too intimidating. What would be nice as to have the best of both worlds. As a writer, I know that writing about a male in a book allows you to create him to be anything you want him to be. He can look any way, work as anything and act as anything. Even our fictional characters with supernatural abilities allow us to escape from the harsh reality that real life sucker punches us with.

But I have asked myself when I am writing?: Have i created a character and a world that is too much fantasy and not enough reality?

I write to escape reality and my characters are designed to be attractive and supernatural with prowess and allure. But even other published authors have followed that path. Take the twilight saga for example: For me, after the first one I felt as though it was a false sense of what a realistic relationship is. As much as I enjoyed the movie, I was left feeling as though that kind of relationship can never happen. Bella represents Reality while Edward represents Fantasy and they have become as one in the books and movies, but can that ever be achieved?

look at yourself from Bella’s view then put your fantasy person in Edwards place and ask yourself if it will ever happen. As much as the story painted a wonderful picture of being so in love with someone that you almost merge together, is it actually a true sense of what you can have in a relationship?

From a writing point of view, these types of characters are highly sought after. we all want that sexy, hot, rich vampire that lures us into his embrace with his unadulterated need and blood-lust. But who in reality fits that bill?

My Edward is famous and I guess you could say that even though he is single, he is still unavailable to me. Our social circles do not mix in any way so it highly unlikely that I will ever get the chance to meet him let alone be his Bella.

He will never be my Edward, and I will never be his Bella, so am I living a sad existence to have this crush? Should I be focusing on trying to achieve a more realistic goal then lusting after a guy that I cannot ever hope to meet?

Has “Book Boyfriends” and “Movie Boyfriends” left an image of an unrealistic relationship? Do our celebrity crushes come under this category too? Is it possible to merge your fantasy relationship into your reality world?

It would be nice to think that we could all meet our fantasy men and have something with them, but if not, what is left? If fantasy man is not available, then does that mean you are settling for second best with reality?

I for one enjoy my little celeb crush as it makes me feel  like a teenager again and yeah, I guess the thought of meeting him does sound appealing. But I know that he is fantasy and I am reality and this is not a scene from Twilight (despite how much I wished it was).

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Life, love, Reflection, relationships

Has the field of relationships devolved?

It has long been debated whether or not being or not being, in a relationship is considered part of our human nature, but take a look around and ask yourself what it is you have expected from your partner and if you got what you bargained for.

I touched on this subject with a few friends and we laughed about what we look for in potential partners and what you end up actually getting. We all have a rough idea of what we like and want, and some may even have a specific visual preference. But have you signed up for what you wanted?

it isn’t fair to put everyone in the same box and brandish people based on prior experiences, but has society become a place where it more achievable to get that fantasy relationship than your average, normal guy/girl that fits into your life and offers a life of normal, everyday happiness etc?

I for one have never expected a knight in shining armour to come along and sweep me off my feet. But it seems it is more likely to bag your yourself one of them than to get an honest guy nowadays. The same goes for the opposite sex.

Is it asking so much to be an independent woman, that just expects a man to be honest, straight talking and no game playing? These are surely not classed as huge efforts to expect from the opposite sex, are they?

I am not interested in mind games of any kind. I have my own things in life that I like to do and I think its only fair that the guy does his own things as well. But it seems that these traits are few and far between.

What is classed as too much when ticking boxes on potential dates? Yes there will be people that are influenced by money or lust or other materialistic things, but what about personality?

Am I the only one that doesn’t want a guy to text me every day and be in constant contact? For me, it can get over-bearing, but for some, they might like being hounded every minute of the day. But is that not just a insecure personality that feels that they need to know your every waking move??

Is “normal” the new “unobtainable”?

Does trust exist anymore? Does independence scare you off? Can you handle a secure, confident person that knows what they want? Why do people dance around issues and situations rather than talking about it and sorting it out?

Men and women all over the world ask these questions and those that don’t, are they the ones left in an unhappy relationship or worse, single and alone but in need of comfort and still seeking?

I guess for me, I would like a man that knows what he wants and goes for it. He doesn’t feel the need to monitor my every waking move and allows me the same independence that he has but still enjoys being part of a couple in a committed relationship. This is where trust comes into it as well as their own insecurities if they have any. Saying that, I do not date because so far these qualities that I think are small in comparison to what others might ask for, seem to be seriously lacking in the male sector lately. Going into any new relationship means you need to have the initial aspect of trust and the rest you learn along the way with each other. But are the qualities that I think are part of the attraction I see in a guy, asking too much?

Yes I have a type that I find appealing to my eye, but once you get past that, you have to factor in whether or not they have a nice personality and a nice attitude towards themselves and life.

But is it wrong to know what you want? Do we settle for second best because we are too afraid to speak up for what we want?

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Reflection, Uncategorized, Writing

Who is your Edward to your Bella?

Sigmund Freud reputedly stated that in all his 30+ years of experience trying to get inside the mind of women, he has failed to answer that age old question “What do women want?”

We want many things Mr Freud but it seems as though women that know exactly what they want are considered to be too intimidating. What would be nice as to have the best of both worlds. As a writer, I know that writing about a male in a book allows you to create him to be anything you want him to be. He can look any way, work as anything and act as anything. Even our fictional characters with supernatural abilities allow us to escape from the harsh reality that real life sucker punches us with.

But I have asked myself when I am writing?: Have i created a character and a world that is too much fantasy and not enough reality?

I write to escape reality and my characters are designed to be attractive and supernatural with prowess and allure. But even other published authors have followed that path. Take the twilight saga for example: For me, after the first one I felt as though it was a false sense of what a realistic relationship is. As much as I enjoyed the movie, I was left feeling as though that kind of relationship can never happen. Bella represents Reality while Edward represents Fantasy and they have become as one in the books and movies, but can that ever be achieved?

look at yourself from Bella’s view then put your fantasy person in Edwards place and ask yourself if it will ever happen. As much as the story painted a wonderful picture of being so in love with someone that you almost merge together, is it actually a true sense of what you can have in a relationship?

From a writing point of view, these types of characters are highly sought after. we all want that sexy, hot, rich vampire that lures us into his embrace with his unadulterated need and blood-lust. But who in reality fits that bill?

My Edward is famous and I guess you could say that even though he is single, he is still unavailable to me. Our social circles do not mix in any way so it highly unlikely that I will ever get the chance to meet him let alone be his Bella.

He will never be my Edward, and I will never be his Bella, so am I living a sad existence to have this crush? Should I be focusing on trying to achieve a more realistic goal then lusting after a guy that I cannot ever hope to meet?

Has “Book Boyfriends” and “Movie Boyfriends” left an image of an unrealistic relationship? Do our celebrity crushes come under this category too? Is it possible to merge your fantasy relationship into your reality world?

It would be nice to think that we could all meet our fantasy men and have something with them, but if not, what is left? If fantasy man is not available, then does that mean you are settling for second best with reality?

I for one enjoy my little celeb crush as it makes me feel  like a teenager again and yeah, I guess the thought of meeting him does sound appealing. But I know that he is fantasy and I am reality and this is not a scene from Twilight (despite how much I wished it was).

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Poetry, Reflection, Writing

Decaying dreams

You mentally torment the life I once had,

My internal system struggles between good and bad.

You covet my dreams to manipulate my fears,

I wake up shaken in a midst of constant tears,

The end is in sight but never near by,

No matter how hard I push or how hard I try.

The pain never leaves, only gains in control,

My existence is fading from the life that you stole.

I am broken beyond the point of repair,

This shell of a life is lying bound and bare.

Why did you seek me out?

Why hunt me down from the beginning and throughout?

You came for me to be a pawn in your game,

Instead you see me as our own personal shame.

I begged you to let me go, to let me be free,

But my life was yours, only mine for a fee.

But the price you ask I cannot give,

You demand too much for me to forgive.

You took my life, my heart and soul,

In replace for death, emptiness and control.

The blackness echoes from the sounds of screams,

But those that dwell in wait are creeping in my dreams.

Is it asking too much for a short reprieve?

Just a small chance to see and breathe.

My world is an endless torment of broken wishes and decaying dreams,

I have been ripped apart and torn at life’s seams.

I see no way other than yours,

You constantly ignore my ghostly implores.

The simple pleasures of life were refused,

You found your target, hunted me and pursued.

I have nothing left of anything I own,

From the hair on my head to deep under my skin to the bone.

I wait in vain for a slither of peace,

To close my eyes and the pain to cease.

The end is not near or even in sight,

I have nothing left, no more need to fight.

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