Reflection, Uncategorized, Writing

Who is your Edward to your Bella?

Sigmund Freud reputedly stated that in all his 30+ years of experience trying to get inside the mind of women, he has failed to answer that age old question “What do women want?”

We want many things Mr Freud but it seems as though women that know exactly what they want are considered to be too intimidating. What would be nice as to have the best of both worlds. As a writer, I know that writing about a male in a book allows you to create him to be anything you want him to be. He can look any way, work as anything and act as anything. Even our fictional characters with supernatural abilities allow us to escape from the harsh reality that real life sucker punches us with.

But I have asked myself when I am writing?: Have i created a character and a world that is too much fantasy and not enough reality?

I write to escape reality and my characters are designed to be attractive and supernatural with prowess and allure. But even other published authors have followed that path. Take the twilight saga for example: For me, after the first one I felt as though it was a false sense of what a realistic relationship is. As much as I enjoyed the movie, I was left feeling as though that kind of relationship can never happen. Bella represents Reality while Edward represents Fantasy and they have become as one in the books and movies, but can that ever be achieved?

look at yourself from Bella’s view then put your fantasy person in Edwards place and ask yourself if it will ever happen. As much as the story painted a wonderful picture of being so in love with someone that you almost merge together, is it actually a true sense of what you can have in a relationship?

From a writing point of view, these types of characters are highly sought after. we all want that sexy, hot, rich vampire that lures us into his embrace with his unadulterated need and blood-lust. But who in reality fits that bill?

My Edward is famous and I guess you could say that even though he is single, he is still unavailable to me. Our social circles do not mix in any way so it highly unlikely that I will ever get the chance to meet him let alone be his Bella.

He will never be my Edward, and I will never be his Bella, so am I living a sad existence to have this crush? Should I be focusing on trying to achieve a more realistic goal then lusting after a guy that I cannot ever hope to meet?

Has “Book Boyfriends” and “Movie Boyfriends” left an image of an unrealistic relationship? Do our celebrity crushes come under this category too? Is it possible to merge your fantasy relationship into your reality world?

It would be nice to think that we could all meet our fantasy men and have something with them, but if not, what is left? If fantasy man is not available, then does that mean you are settling for second best with reality?

I for one enjoy my little celeb crush as it makes me feel  like a teenager again and yeah, I guess the thought of meeting him does sound appealing. But I know that he is fantasy and I am reality and this is not a scene from Twilight (despite how much I wished it was).

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Escape in my bubble

Sometimes I just want to be left alone,

To sit and think in a room on my own.

Is it so much to ask for some peace and quiet,

Personally I think that everyone should try it.

Just me in a dark room lying on my bed,

Thinking about everything or nothing flying around in my head.

Sometimes i sit in the middle of the floor,

Hoping that nobody comes in through the door.

The blackness of the room is all around,

Only my breathing makes a sound.

I like to escape and get away,

From all crap and hassle i get each day.

I need to get away from the day to day things,

I would fly far away if i only had wings.

Don’t misunderstand me, I am not clinically depressed,

I have no deep rooted feelings that i keep suppressed.

I just take a time out from the reality of life,

So I can chill out and relax with no worries or strife.

I wrap myself up in my own little fantasy bubble,

Enveloped by my imagination to keep me out of trouble.

I can be anyone or go anywhere I choose,

It’s a world of possibilities where I cannot lose.

I won’t be away long, I’ll be back soon,

After all I’m only in my room.

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The mirror of truth.

I can’t be that happy girl that you want me to be,

I sometimes wonder if you even know me.

You walk in my shoes every day and night,

Yet i think you wish i was out of sight.

I get it, i do, i understand,

This whole situation will get out of hand.

But when you look at me with that pitiable look,

It feels like you hit me with a killer right hook.

I am what i am, i have always been that way,

I won’t change myself, no matter what you say.

What you see is what you get,

So stop trying to torture me like your own little pet.

My eyes tell the stories of a suffering soul,

The things in my life are taking it’s toll.

The constant feeling of being stuck in a trance,

Leave me wondering if i ever had a chance.

You stand there staring back at me,

Even when i scream at you that i want to be free.

Is it asking so much for you to be there,

When i need you to listen, when i have things to share.

Whether i sit and cry, or cry and stand,

You may always be there, but never once held my hand.

What i wouldn’t give for a few little cuddles,

Just to stop the tears from forming sad little puddles.

My inner struggle makes me want to run and hide,

Each day i see you, i die a little more inside.

Incessantly screaming to get your attention,

But you can’t answer back as your just my reflection.

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Playing with the Grim Reaper

Whispering shadows floating all around,

Blood splattered glass lay shattered on the ground.

Cold, damp and wet, and so very alone,

Bound and shackled to Death’s boned throne.

Demons dancing all over the walls,

Blood curdling screams coming from the haunting halls.

Forgotten and unwanted, and left to die,

No tears left in my eyes for me too cry.

Rusted iron shackles piercing deep in my skin,

I played Death’s game, but i didn’t win.

He is my master, my keeper and my lover all in one,

There is no point in fighting it, i give up, he has won.

The darkened abyss of his immortal heart,

Has merged into mine so we cannot part.

I am faithfully bound to my immortal keeper,

I am in love with Death, The Grim Reaper.

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Uncategorized

Playing with the Grim Reaper

Whispering shadows floating all around,

Blood splattered glass lay shattered on the ground.

Cold, damp and wet, and so very alone,

Bound and shackled to Death’s boned throne.

Demons dancing all over the walls,

Blood curdling screams coming from the haunting halls.

Forgotten and unwanted, and left to die,

No tears left in my eyes for me too cry.

Rusted iron shackles piercing deep in my skin,

I played Death’s game, but i didn’t win.

He is my master, my keeper and my lover all in one,

There is no point in fighting it, i give up, he has won.

The darkened abyss of his immortal heart,

Has merged into mine so we cannot part.

I am faithfully bound to my immortal keeper,

I am in love with Death, The Grim Reaper.

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Uncategorized

My Bloody Freak Show

Days and nights go by, i ponder, I wonder.

Why are we here? Why do i even bother?

Watching and waiting, time passes, people come, people go,

This isn’t real life, it’s a bloody freak show!

I find no absolution in what you say to me,

I show no interest or emotion in what my eyes see.

I sit and watch the world passing me by,

I sit and watch as the clouds pass over in the sky.

Is there a reason for the never ending despair?

We eat, sleep, work and breathe in the lifeless air.

What is the point in moving from this spot?

I, like you are just an insignificant dot.

We eat to live and we live to die,

So what is the point in attempting to try!

You call me a freak because i say what i see,

But in this worthless reality, you are all just like me.

You all hide behind the lies, that’s always been your way,

But me, I see it all in shades of grey.

I can grasp the concept of reality much more than you,

I am not afraid to see that it’s all the lies and deceit that are true.

So carry on with your circus life of being self absorbed and fake,

I will be the one that laughs when you’re pathetic existence begins to ache.

When the cracks in your desperate and pitiable world start to show,

I will stand up and welcome you to my Bloody Freak Show.

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Reflection, Uncategorized, Writing

Who is your Edward to your Bella?

Sigmund Freud reputedly stated that in all his 30+ years of experience trying to get inside the mind of women, he has failed to answer that age old question “What do women want?”

We want many things Mr Freud but it seems as though women that know exactly what they want are considered to be too intimidating. What would be nice as to have the best of both worlds. As a writer, I know that writing about a male in a book allows you to create him to be anything you want him to be. He can look any way, work as anything and act as anything. Even our fictional characters with supernatural abilities allow us to escape from the harsh reality that real life sucker punches us with.

But I have asked myself when I am writing?: Have i created a character and a world that is too much fantasy and not enough reality?

I write to escape reality and my characters are designed to be attractive and supernatural with prowess and allure. But even other published authors have followed that path. Take the twilight saga for example: For me, after the first one I felt as though it was a false sense of what a realistic relationship is. As much as I enjoyed the movie, I was left feeling as though that kind of relationship can never happen. Bella represents Reality while Edward represents Fantasy and they have become as one in the books and movies, but can that ever be achieved?

look at yourself from Bella’s view then put your fantasy person in Edwards place and ask yourself if it will ever happen. As much as the story painted a wonderful picture of being so in love with someone that you almost merge together, is it actually a true sense of what you can have in a relationship?

From a writing point of view, these types of characters are highly sought after. we all want that sexy, hot, rich vampire that lures us into his embrace with his unadulterated need and blood-lust. But who in reality fits that bill?

My Edward is famous and I guess you could say that even though he is single, he is still unavailable to me. Our social circles do not mix in any way so it highly unlikely that I will ever get the chance to meet him let alone be his Bella.

He will never be my Edward, and I will never be his Bella, so am I living a sad existence to have this crush? Should I be focusing on trying to achieve a more realistic goal then lusting after a guy that I cannot ever hope to meet?

Has “Book Boyfriends” and “Movie Boyfriends” left an image of an unrealistic relationship? Do our celebrity crushes come under this category too? Is it possible to merge your fantasy relationship into your reality world?

It would be nice to think that we could all meet our fantasy men and have something with them, but if not, what is left? If fantasy man is not available, then does that mean you are settling for second best with reality?

I for one enjoy my little celeb crush as it makes me feel  like a teenager again and yeah, I guess the thought of meeting him does sound appealing. But I know that he is fantasy and I am reality and this is not a scene from Twilight (despite how much I wished it was).

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