Uncategorized

Playing with the Grim Reaper

Whispering shadows floating all around,

Blood splattered glass lay shattered on the ground.

Cold, damp and wet, and so very alone,

Bound and shackled to Death’s boned throne.

Demons dancing all over the walls,

Blood curdling screams coming from the haunting halls.

Forgotten and unwanted, and left to die,

No tears left in my eyes for me too cry.

Rusted iron shackles piercing deep in my skin,

I played Death’s game, but i didn’t win.

He is my master, my keeper and my lover all in one,

There is no point in fighting it, i give up, he has won.

The darkened abyss of his immortal heart,

Has merged into mine so we cannot part.

I am faithfully bound to my immortal keeper,

I am in love with Death, The Grim Reaper.

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Uncategorized

Playing with the Grim Reaper

Whispering shadows floating all around,

Blood splattered glass lay shattered on the ground.

Cold, damp and wet, and so very alone,

Bound and shackled to Death’s boned throne.

Demons dancing all over the walls,

Blood curdling screams coming from the haunting halls.

Forgotten and unwanted, and left to die,

No tears left in my eyes for me too cry.

Rusted iron shackles piercing deep in my skin,

I played Death’s game, but i didn’t win.

He is my master, my keeper and my lover all in one,

There is no point in fighting it, i give up, he has won.

The darkened abyss of his immortal heart,

Has merged into mine so we cannot part.

I am faithfully bound to my immortal keeper,

I am in love with Death, The Grim Reaper.

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Uncategorized

My Bloody Freak Show

Days and nights go by, i ponder, I wonder.

Why are we here? Why do i even bother?

Watching and waiting, time passes, people come, people go,

This isn’t real life, it’s a bloody freak show!

I find no absolution in what you say to me,

I show no interest or emotion in what my eyes see.

I sit and watch the world passing me by,

I sit and watch as the clouds pass over in the sky.

Is there a reason for the never ending despair?

We eat, sleep, work and breathe in the lifeless air.

What is the point in moving from this spot?

I, like you are just an insignificant dot.

We eat to live and we live to die,

So what is the point in attempting to try!

You call me a freak because i say what i see,

But in this worthless reality, you are all just like me.

You all hide behind the lies, that’s always been your way,

But me, I see it all in shades of grey.

I can grasp the concept of reality much more than you,

I am not afraid to see that it’s all the lies and deceit that are true.

So carry on with your circus life of being self absorbed and fake,

I will be the one that laughs when you’re pathetic existence begins to ache.

When the cracks in your desperate and pitiable world start to show,

I will stand up and welcome you to my Bloody Freak Show.

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Poetry

Broken

Darkness descending, The morning light ending.

Deep black clouds looming over, no point in screaming, no need to bother.

Nobody there to hear my cries, Nobody to wipe away tears from my soulless eyes.

Drop after drop of bitter cold rain, Falls down my face, twisted with pain.

Deafening silence all around, My shell of existence, broken and bound.

Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken, The demon inside me stirs, desperate to be awoken.

The heavy clouds too thick to see the moon, Closer and closer they get, sealing me in my tomb.

Pieces of red glass lay shattered on the ground, Like a jigsaw puzzle of my heart, waiting to be found.

Torn and twisted laying on the floor, Watching and waiting, but nothing comes through the door.

Total blackness envelopes my skin, The Reaper is coming, I know it’s him.

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Poetry

Silenced by Light, Awakened by Night

Cold droplets of rain fall on the dusty marble floor,

Rust and endless time have fused the hinges on the old iron door.

Decaying cracks in the roof tease me with the world outside,

Locked away in my eternal sanctuary, this is where i hide.

Cobwebs and spiders decorate the corners of my tomb,

Just me and my shadow living in this lonely damp room.

Through the cracks in the walls i watch people come and people go,

I see all the seasons, from the spring sun to the winter snow.

But watching and waiting is all i can do,

Time moves much slower for me than it does for you.

Silenced by light,

Awakened by night.

We all end up here, the good and the bad,

We all move on from the life we once had.

But it isn’t as simple as being black and white,

There are things in both our worlds that tend to bite.

But choose your path wisely as the light is not always the good,

There is much to consider not just what you want and what you should.

Even if you choose to lie buried in the ground,

Make no mistake, you will be found.

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Life, love, Reflection, relationships

Has the field of relationships devolved?

It has long been debated whether or not being or not being, in a relationship is considered part of our human nature, but take a look around and ask yourself what it is you have expected from your partner and if you got what you bargained for.

I touched on this subject with a few friends and we laughed about what we look for in potential partners and what you end up actually getting. We all have a rough idea of what we like and want, and some may even have a specific visual preference. But have you signed up for what you wanted?

it isn’t fair to put everyone in the same box and brandish people based on prior experiences, but has society become a place where it more achievable to get that fantasy relationship than your average, normal guy/girl that fits into your life and offers a life of normal, everyday happiness etc?

I for one have never expected a knight in shining armour to come along and sweep me off my feet. But it seems it is more likely to bag your yourself one of them than to get an honest guy nowadays. The same goes for the opposite sex.

Is it asking so much to be an independent woman, that just expects a man to be honest, straight talking and no game playing? These are surely not classed as huge efforts to expect from the opposite sex, are they?

I am not interested in mind games of any kind. I have my own things in life that I like to do and I think its only fair that the guy does his own things as well. But it seems that these traits are few and far between.

What is classed as too much when ticking boxes on potential dates? Yes there will be people that are influenced by money or lust or other materialistic things, but what about personality?

Am I the only one that doesn’t want a guy to text me every day and be in constant contact? For me, it can get over-bearing, but for some, they might like being hounded every minute of the day. But is that not just a insecure personality that feels that they need to know your every waking move??

Is “normal” the new “unobtainable”?

Does trust exist anymore? Does independence scare you off? Can you handle a secure, confident person that knows what they want? Why do people dance around issues and situations rather than talking about it and sorting it out?

Men and women all over the world ask these questions and those that don’t, are they the ones left in an unhappy relationship or worse, single and alone but in need of comfort and still seeking?

I guess for me, I would like a man that knows what he wants and goes for it. He doesn’t feel the need to monitor my every waking move and allows me the same independence that he has but still enjoys being part of a couple in a committed relationship. This is where trust comes into it as well as their own insecurities if they have any. Saying that, I do not date because so far these qualities that I think are small in comparison to what others might ask for, seem to be seriously lacking in the male sector lately. Going into any new relationship means you need to have the initial aspect of trust and the rest you learn along the way with each other. But are the qualities that I think are part of the attraction I see in a guy, asking too much?

Yes I have a type that I find appealing to my eye, but once you get past that, you have to factor in whether or not they have a nice personality and a nice attitude towards themselves and life.

But is it wrong to know what you want? Do we settle for second best because we are too afraid to speak up for what we want?

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Reflection, Uncategorized, Writing

Who is your Edward to your Bella?

Sigmund Freud reputedly stated that in all his 30+ years of experience trying to get inside the mind of women, he has failed to answer that age old question “What do women want?”

We want many things Mr Freud but it seems as though women that know exactly what they want are considered to be too intimidating. What would be nice as to have the best of both worlds. As a writer, I know that writing about a male in a book allows you to create him to be anything you want him to be. He can look any way, work as anything and act as anything. Even our fictional characters with supernatural abilities allow us to escape from the harsh reality that real life sucker punches us with.

But I have asked myself when I am writing?: Have i created a character and a world that is too much fantasy and not enough reality?

I write to escape reality and my characters are designed to be attractive and supernatural with prowess and allure. But even other published authors have followed that path. Take the twilight saga for example: For me, after the first one I felt as though it was a false sense of what a realistic relationship is. As much as I enjoyed the movie, I was left feeling as though that kind of relationship can never happen. Bella represents Reality while Edward represents Fantasy and they have become as one in the books and movies, but can that ever be achieved?

look at yourself from Bella’s view then put your fantasy person in Edwards place and ask yourself if it will ever happen. As much as the story painted a wonderful picture of being so in love with someone that you almost merge together, is it actually a true sense of what you can have in a relationship?

From a writing point of view, these types of characters are highly sought after. we all want that sexy, hot, rich vampire that lures us into his embrace with his unadulterated need and blood-lust. But who in reality fits that bill?

My Edward is famous and I guess you could say that even though he is single, he is still unavailable to me. Our social circles do not mix in any way so it highly unlikely that I will ever get the chance to meet him let alone be his Bella.

He will never be my Edward, and I will never be his Bella, so am I living a sad existence to have this crush? Should I be focusing on trying to achieve a more realistic goal then lusting after a guy that I cannot ever hope to meet?

Has “Book Boyfriends” and “Movie Boyfriends” left an image of an unrealistic relationship? Do our celebrity crushes come under this category too? Is it possible to merge your fantasy relationship into your reality world?

It would be nice to think that we could all meet our fantasy men and have something with them, but if not, what is left? If fantasy man is not available, then does that mean you are settling for second best with reality?

I for one enjoy my little celeb crush as it makes me feel  like a teenager again and yeah, I guess the thought of meeting him does sound appealing. But I know that he is fantasy and I am reality and this is not a scene from Twilight (despite how much I wished it was).

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