Why is it, when collective moments of clustered completion and mediocre happiness begin to wrap themselves around reality, along comes destruction in the form of redundancy to wipe the elation off the face of the unsuspecting victim.
When one life domino falls, it has a knock on effect for yet more unsuspecting moments.
My brief story starts with a Christmas theme. As to the ending theme, hell only knows how it will end. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot write future events. Only history can be written.
Being one of those annoying, irritating people who’s love of Christmas has me getting into the festive spirit months in advance before any of you have even gotten into the Halloween season yet; I decided that this year I would do something extra special.
I decided to create a charity event and name it The Angel Tree after an amazing Christmas movie, Paper Angels. I had it planned well before the summer sun even split the trees. After months of planning and preparing for today (Saturday 5th) it was finally here.
Weeks ago I had sat with my mum cutting out over 60 angels and covered them in glitter. Our local Barnardos was to be the receiver of my idea in aid to help give underprivileged children, a great Christmas. Each child was given an angel to write their Christmas Wishes on.
During this hectic time I was also trying to deal with a frustrating personal situation that was getting more infuriating by the second. But unfortunately it wasn’t a singular problem. I was introduced to a wave of panic and nausea in the form of my 7 week “compulsory redundancy ” notice!
Needless to say that I was floored. At first when I was given the news, it hadn’t fully set in. I fully comprehended the fateful news but I was in a form of denial. Not that I was losing my job, that I was fully aware of; but my denial was my abilities to find another job in time for shedding the old.
I sat one evening, the week following my news, and trawled over multiple websites in search for a suitable job where I could work around my priority of being a mother of two. The realisation set in fast when I couldn’t find a single job. Not one! Reality hit me like a bitch slap to the face by a heavy weight boxer.
Being a single mum of two with bills to pay like everyone else and finding myself in this position was putting a damper on my Christmas spirit. But I had started something, and there were children dependant on me creating Christmas Angel’s in people for them this year.
Today, was my first day of The Angel Tree. I made sure I plugged the hell out of it across social media and even got interviewed by our local newspaper. Today went really well, much better than I expected and could have hoped for.
It has been a very stressful few weeks, and I have my remaining weeks which I am sure will be full of anxiety and panic too. But I will make sure that The Angel Tree is successful for the children.
Each night I struggle to sleep, and each day I trawl through the same websites looking at the same jobs that would be impossible for me to apply for.
I found myself a few weeks ago finally completing my very first manuscript. I plan on sending it out to as many agents as I can. But for now, I have to endure the next few weeks of deprived sleep and an increase in anxiety all the while not letting on to my kids that I’m worried sick and painting a smile on my face.
The Angel Tree’s first day was amazing which has been a huge relief, but all the time at the back of my mind, I have the constant worry of my doomed redundancy. So much for karma! Perhaps she has decided to go on holiday.
At this moment in time, I am still searching for a job, unsuccessfully. I’m not sure what life is trying to teach me with this, but I hope it has a happy ending, sooner rather than later. Preferably before the stress turns my hair white.
I take every penny I have for granted now. Perhaps Santa will give me a job for Christmas.