Lament to love

I sigh without emotional release

Drowning, in endless contemplation.

A macabre of senseless want

It is a plague on my soul.

I mourn the aflliction

Like a guilty pleasure.

I have searched the celestial doorways

But the star dust is long gone.

It is a contortion of rawness

An asphyxiation of longing.

It is the holy grail

So often sought, but never found.

It is a succubus that drains

It is a shadow, lamenting the night.

The core pains

But never heals.

I am a breath, starved of oxygen

A cosmic imbalance.

I am a sin, without confession

My song was never wrote.

It is besieged within a promiscuous vortex

Ravenous with obscurity.

Disassociated with the spiritual facilitator

A cognitive phenomenon.

I am a benevolent structure of Confucianism

A disciple for the unsullied.

 

 

Stolen: By D H Evans

What is happiness? Can it be spoken? Can it be touched? Can it be seen, or tasted? Hope, diminishes, each passing day.

Love, you failed me. You played against me.

A judgment formed, the decision made. 

I watched you wave, from the world outside. Always in sight, but never in reach. 

I played the game, not knowing the rules. You toyed and teased me; you were never mine to have.

A kiss on the lips, just a taste of delight. But the kiss was bitter sweet.

You stole from me; took the light I could have had. A void, in time and space, that could never be filled.

Each breath pains; a constant hunger, consumes me.

A stillness of light, in a motion of dark.

It is hard to smile, when the world cries for me.

Love is a delusion, a forgotten snowflake; frozen in time. 

It teases at the edges, but never covets, nor caresses.

Escape in my bubble

Sometimes I just want to be left alone,

To sit and think in a room on my own.

Is it so much to ask for some peace and quiet,

Personally I think that everyone should try it.

Just me in a dark room lying on my bed,

Thinking about everything or nothing flying around in my head.

Sometimes i sit in the middle of the floor,

Hoping that nobody comes in through the door.

The blackness of the room is all around,

Only my breathing makes a sound.

I like to escape and get away,

From all crap and hassle i get each day.

I need to get away from the day to day things,

I would fly far away if i only had wings.

Don’t misunderstand me, I am not clinically depressed,

I have no deep rooted feelings that i keep suppressed.

I just take a time out from the reality of life,

So I can chill out and relax with no worries or strife.

I wrap myself up in my own little fantasy bubble,

Enveloped by my imagination to keep me out of trouble.

I can be anyone or go anywhere I choose,

It’s a world of possibilities where I cannot lose.

I won’t be away long, I’ll be back soon,

After all I’m only in my room.

The mirror of truth.

I can’t be that happy girl that you want me to be,

I sometimes wonder if you even know me.

You walk in my shoes every day and night,

Yet i think you wish i was out of sight.

I get it, i do, i understand,

This whole situation will get out of hand.

But when you look at me with that pitiable look,

It feels like you hit me with a killer right hook.

I am what i am, i have always been that way,

I won’t change myself, no matter what you say.

What you see is what you get,

So stop trying to torture me like your own little pet.

My eyes tell the stories of a suffering soul,

The things in my life are taking it’s toll.

The constant feeling of being stuck in a trance,

Leave me wondering if i ever had a chance.

You stand there staring back at me,

Even when i scream at you that i want to be free.

Is it asking so much for you to be there,

When i need you to listen, when i have things to share.

Whether i sit and cry, or cry and stand,

You may always be there, but never once held my hand.

What i wouldn’t give for a few little cuddles,

Just to stop the tears from forming sad little puddles.

My inner struggle makes me want to run and hide,

Each day i see you, i die a little more inside.

Incessantly screaming to get your attention,

But you can’t answer back as your just my reflection.

Playing with the Grim Reaper

Whispering shadows floating all around,

Blood splattered glass lay shattered on the ground.

Cold, damp and wet, and so very alone,

Bound and shackled to Death’s boned throne.

Demons dancing all over the walls,

Blood curdling screams coming from the haunting halls.

Forgotten and unwanted, and left to die,

No tears left in my eyes for me too cry.

Rusted iron shackles piercing deep in my skin,

I played Death’s game, but i didn’t win.

He is my master, my keeper and my lover all in one,

There is no point in fighting it, i give up, he has won.

The darkened abyss of his immortal heart,

Has merged into mine so we cannot part.

I am faithfully bound to my immortal keeper,

I am in love with Death, The Grim Reaper.

Playing with the Grim Reaper

Whispering shadows floating all around,

Blood splattered glass lay shattered on the ground.

Cold, damp and wet, and so very alone,

Bound and shackled to Death’s boned throne.

Demons dancing all over the walls,

Blood curdling screams coming from the haunting halls.

Forgotten and unwanted, and left to die,

No tears left in my eyes for me too cry.

Rusted iron shackles piercing deep in my skin,

I played Death’s game, but i didn’t win.

He is my master, my keeper and my lover all in one,

There is no point in fighting it, i give up, he has won.

The darkened abyss of his immortal heart,

Has merged into mine so we cannot part.

I am faithfully bound to my immortal keeper,

I am in love with Death, The Grim Reaper.

My Bloody Freak Show

Days and nights go by, i ponder, I wonder.

Why are we here? Why do i even bother?

Watching and waiting, time passes, people come, people go,

This isn’t real life, it’s a bloody freak show!

I find no absolution in what you say to me,

I show no interest or emotion in what my eyes see.

I sit and watch the world passing me by,

I sit and watch as the clouds pass over in the sky.

Is there a reason for the never ending despair?

We eat, sleep, work and breathe in the lifeless air.

What is the point in moving from this spot?

I, like you are just an insignificant dot.

We eat to live and we live to die,

So what is the point in attempting to try!

You call me a freak because i say what i see,

But in this worthless reality, you are all just like me.

You all hide behind the lies, that’s always been your way,

But me, I see it all in shades of grey.

I can grasp the concept of reality much more than you,

I am not afraid to see that it’s all the lies and deceit that are true.

So carry on with your circus life of being self absorbed and fake,

I will be the one that laughs when you’re pathetic existence begins to ache.

When the cracks in your desperate and pitiable world start to show,

I will stand up and welcome you to my Bloody Freak Show.

Silenced by Light, Awakened by Night

Cold droplets of rain fall on the dusty marble floor,

Rust and endless time have fused the hinges on the old iron door.

Decaying cracks in the roof tease me with the world outside,

Locked away in my eternal sanctuary, this is where i hide.

Cobwebs and spiders decorate the corners of my tomb,

Just me and my shadow living in this lonely damp room.

Through the cracks in the walls i watch people come and people go,

I see all the seasons, from the spring sun to the winter snow.

But watching and waiting is all i can do,

Time moves much slower for me than it does for you.

Silenced by light,

Awakened by night.

We all end up here, the good and the bad,

We all move on from the life we once had.

But it isn’t as simple as being black and white,

There are things in both our worlds that tend to bite.

But choose your path wisely as the light is not always the good,

There is much to consider not just what you want and what you should.

Even if you choose to lie buried in the ground,

Make no mistake, you will be found.

Escape in my bubble

Sometimes I just want to be left alone,
To sit and think in a room on my own.

Is it so much to ask for some peace and quiet,
Personally I think that everyone should try it.

Just me in a dark room lying on my bed,
Thinking about everything or nothing flying around in my head.

Sometimes i sit in the middle of the floor,
Hoping that nobody comes in through the door.

The blackness of the room is all around,
Only my breathing makes a sound.

I like to escape and get away,
From all crap and hassle i get each day.

I need to get away from the day to day things,
I would fly far away if i only had wings.

Don’t misunderstand me, I am not clinically depressed,
I have no deep rooted feelings that i keep suppressed.

I just take a time out from the reality of life,
So I can chill out and relax with no worries or strife.

I wrap myself up in my own little fantasy bubble,
Enveloped by my imagination to keep me out of trouble.

I can be anyone or go anywhere I choose,
It’s a world of possibilities where I cannot lose.

I won’t be away long, I’ll be back soon,
After all I’m only in my room.

The mirror of truth.

I can’t be that happy girl that you want me to be,
I sometimes wonder if you even know me.

You walk in my shoes every day and night,
Yet i think you wish i was out of sight.

I get it, i do, i understand,
This whole situation will get out of hand.

But when you look at me with that pitiable look,
It feels like you hit me with a killer right hook.

I am what i am, i have always been that way,
I won’t change myself, no matter what you say.

What you see is what you get,
So stop trying to torture me like your own little pet.

My eyes tell the stories of a suffering soul,
The things in my life are taking it’s toll.

The constant feeling of being stuck in a trance,
Leave me wondering if i ever had a chance.

You stand there staring back at me,
Even when i scream at you that i want to be free.

Is it asking so much for you to be there,
When i need you to listen, when i have things to share.

Whether i sit and cry, or cry and stand,
You may always be there, but never once held my hand.

What i wouldn’t give for a few little cuddles,
Just to stop the tears from forming sad little puddles.

My inner struggle makes me want to run and hide,
Each day i see you, i die a little more inside.

Incessantly screaming to get your attention,
But you can’t answer back as your just my reflection.